Falling through the Looking Glass

In this tight economy, people are encountering things they may not have before, such as unequal financial contributions in relationships.

I’m not talking about gender roles here, though such horrible things do influence this, I’m just focusing on the balance between two individuals trying to maintain a relationship when one or both are in economic straights.

The problem is that when money becomes an issue, it brings out all the other issues that wouldn’t have been such a big deal before. Such as one partner going out to a fast food place on their lunch break. Normally that’s not some horrible pressure, but if you’re in financial problems where every penny counts, it’s easy to get frustrated. Most people in financial problems are often working odd or conflicting hours at one or more jobs trying to make it work. Add in sleep deprivation, unbalanced diet, and a stressful environment and you’re in a fix. You’re going to be more edgy than had you not been in that situation. Things that you could probably just blow off previously or not even notice somehow become big deals.

Communication is key. Even if that communication is to say how unhappy you are or how close to breaking you are. It isn’t easy to sit there and bail your partner out continuously at the expense of your own household. And if you have children it becomes even more complicated and heartbreaking.

If you feel like your partner is taking more than you can handle, financially, emotionally, or in any capacity, that doesn’t always mean that the relationship is broken, it just means you need to have an honest talk. Now the results of that talk will tell if your relationship is broken or not. If your partner is hostile, superficial, or unresponsive to your concerns, this is a red flag that should not be taken lightly. If your partner is loving and sympathetic to your concerns, together you can work out a game plan such as they help at your house more even if you two don’t live together in exchange for you contributing a little bit to their phone bill.

A relationship is supposed to be the joining of two independent people working together for a common goal. Sometimes being independent isn’t always practical. But there is no reason why the relationship should become unbalanced because of that.


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