Falling through the Looking Glass











{November 14, 2012}   How not to reconnect with your ex…

1) Don’t try to make them jealous.

Do not try to make it seem you are so better off without them. If you were better off without them, you wouldn’t be trying to get back with them.

 

2) Don’t beg.

Emotionally healthy people do not want supplicants, they want partners.This is not only personally demeaning, it’s not very impressive upon the former partner.

 

3) Don’t lie.

Seriously, they will find out. And it’s never healthy to try and rebuild a relationship on a falsehood.

 

4) Don’t tell them how much they missed out on.

Similar to number one, but at the same time it is condescending and hurtful in a very unique way. Don’t insult or disrespect people like this.

 

5) Don’t come without a game plan.

There is a reason why your relationship ended. Obviously something was not going the way it’s supposed to. So don’t come back unless you have productive and engaging ideas on how to not just rebuild the relationship, but surpassing it with something better. Why settle for something that obviously didn’t work before?

 

6) Don’t ask if they are seeing other people.

It’s none of your business. It’s not going to help anything. And it’s only a way to fish drama, not progress and rebuild into something new.

 

7) Don’t promise to change.

They probably won’t believe you. You probably don’t believe you. If you feel compelled to say this, you’re not really in a healthy recovery point yet.

 

8) Don’t try to bring up how the relationship was.

Something was done that started a breakup. Obviously while there must have been some positive things or else you wouldn’t want to reconnect with them, but there were also problems too. If you try to bring up something good, that leaves the door open to bring up the bad. Keep to your plan and work forward, not backward.

 

9) Don’t offer to fulfill past promises.

If it was a priority, then it should have been done then. Move on, move forward, It shouldn’t take loosing someone to try and work on something your should have done anyway.

 

10) Don’t resort to bribery.

Attempts to use offers or gifts to get someone back only trivializes your attempts to work on the relationship, unless the offer is for couple’s therapy or something like that. The former partner can’t help but judge the merit of the gift in comparison to how you value the relationship. This can also create false expectations for both of you.

 

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY!

 

11) Don’t forget that there are 7,000,000,000 people on this earth.

You will find someone else.

I promise.

Just don’t try and find that other person while trying to work things out with your ex. Just. Don’t.

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new music says:

Absorbing info and nicely written. Keep up the wonderful stuff!



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